Conversations: Quantity Versus Quality

So, here’s a quick question for each of you…

In your mind, can you replay a conversation from yesterday that strengthened the relationship with whomever you were talking with?

Do you have one yet? It’s tough, huh?

Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like meaningful conversation is happening less often today. It feels like (in some cases without our deliberate intent) quantity has replaced quality. We’re all communicating more. We have Facebook, and Twitter, and email, and texts, and voice mail, and Skype, and…AHHHHH!

Each of us is likely to have 2-3 times more “conversations” per day than we ever used to. But are we communicating in a way that strengthens our relationship with others?

Here are some things we use at Incept in attempts to make our conversations as productive as possible:

1.  Make the conversation about them.

A lot of times a “conversation” is really just waiting for your turn to talk. In your next conversation, flip that. Make the entire conversation about the other person. Save your stories for another time.

2.  Ask questions.

It’s such a simple thing to do, yet so flattering when it actually happens. Do you ask people their opinion before giving yours? Do you really LISTEN to their answer?

3.  Say “thank you.”

A little appreciation goes a long way in strengthening any relationship. As tough as we all act, we’ve each got insecurities about whether or not we are important. Saying “thank you” in some portion of your conversation can calm that other person’s inner critic, at least for a moment. Do them that favor.

Tomorrow, throughout the day, evaluate your conversations. What percentage of your conversations are individually strengthening relationships? Any additional thoughts on how you can increase that percentage?