As an advocate and spokesperson on the need for blood donors, I’m often faced with random questions easily answered via statistics and medical details. Almost a “CSI” answer I suppose – meaning all of the reasons to donate can be from the heart while defined by the numbers.
Having said that, there is always that one skeptical individual who seems to question every scientific theory and every survivor story or truly believes that one more donation just won’t make a substantial difference. While this skepticism can really grind one’s personal emotions, it’s important for me to listen and offer an objective response. At least that’s what I normally think.
After spending a week on the road participating in several events to thank donors, sponsors and blood centers in different parts of the Mid-Atlantic region, I stood engaged in a lengthy conversation about my personal story. During the conversation, a gentleman said (with the most condescending tone I’ve ever heard) that he, “Just doesn’t have the time and others are donating anyway.” Now, this isn’t the first time I’ve heard this response, but, for some reason, on this given day, it truly cut to the heart.
I suppose it may have been that I had already heard that this person went to the gym every day or that he had just returned from a two-week vacation in the Caribbean or even that he missed his poker night last week. Given those details (and a few others), I nidged the question of why he didn’t feel he had the time, stressing that it takes less than one hour to donate from start to finish.
He pontificated that his time was very valuable and that in a single hour he could make “X” amount of money. I gleaned from that statement that one hour of his time is more valuable to him than the life of another. Yes, I was able to keep cool while hot under the collar. I pried a little more and wanted to see if this individual had children or a wife (which he does). I simply asked, “What is their life worth to you?”
Of course, he quickly stated that their lives were more precious than money. Interesting… Following that answer, I asked, “If they needed blood, would you donate?” He hesitated but said, “Of course, I would!” My final statement/question to him was, “Is anyone’s life more valuable than the next?” He pondered the question and gave that ‘I just had an A-Ha moment’ look with his reply. “No. No life is more valuable than another. I shouldn’t just assume that others have donated or that there is always a reserve.”
In his own moment, in his own words, he understood that life is fragile. He went on to admit that he could give up an hour on a regular basis to donate, after all. Heck, his wife found the time to do so. She was already a regular donor, which is why he was at the event in the first place.
So as I left him, feeling a bit more warm and fuzzy, I thought to myself that there is no price for life or life’s moments. In this moment, I was confident that one more person would be saving lives and that his gift is just as priceless.
How much is a life worth to you?
[Rebecca Crosen Founder & Spokesperson - It’s Hip 2 Give]
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Life is worth a lot, but I could also understand this guy’s position.
Not everyone is as altruistic and well-meaning as you’d like, and oftentimes it seems like the message around donating blood is “You really ought to, because it’s the right thing to do.” The right thing or not, sometimes this message just falls flat. And even beyond falling flat, it’s possible that it’s actually resented. People don’t like being preached to.
I can agree with that, John M.
People don’t like being preached to and I am one of those people. At the same time while I’ve been recruiting blood donors myself, I’ve found out that a lot of times people just need to be asked simply because they don’t know they have a blood driving going on in their communities.
The statistics are also shocking if you look at how much of the American population donates compared to how much blood is used and needed.
What you said is a very real thought many people have. At the same time many people are also dying because they couldn’t get a simple blood transfusion.
Sounds like you approached that conversation with a lot of courage, Rebecca. Way to stand your ground and present the facts confidently.