Bow to Your Sensei: Knowledge of the Art of Conversation

Greetings to you, grasshopper!

This is where you shall begin to gather information to accomplish the task of being more conversational. Whether that be in the marketing sense of things or just as a way to sharpen your everyday conversation skills, it is a wise personal investment.

I’ve never had the official opportunity to be a sensei or a master of combat, but I’ve always had a keen interest in martial arts. From fu manchu mustaches to katana swords to screaming like Bruce Lee, when I chop my straw wrapper in half it is easy to see the way of the warrior has always been in my blood. Naturally, this blog is my conversational dojo and I, your Sensei. So without further ado, let the training begin!

Below being the gracious conversational sensei that I am, I have compiled a few tips on how to be more conversational in everyday life.

• Find common ground. Sometimes the generic, “Hello, my name is…” approach isn’t needed to strike a conversation.  I recently was at the mall and saw a guy wearing a t-shirt of one of my favorite bands, The Misfits. I looked at him and said, “Hey, nice shirt! What’s your favorite album?” Based on that, we had a ten-minute conversation regarding the band and music (in general).  Finding a person’s general interest – that you share – can be an easy tool to make them feel comfortable, relaxed and open.

• It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. It’s all about the delivery of your words will determine how a person reacts. When researching this topic I was amazed that, after a compilation of studies, experts agree that 7 percent of human conversation consists of the actual words, whereas 38 percent involves how those words are perceieved! You truly have to ask yourself, “How do I sound in a conversation?” Is your tone welcoming and friendly or perhaps imperitive and harsh? Perception is reality!

• Let people talk about themselves. Somtimes in daily conversations, I find it interesting (as well as entertaining) when a person really opens up. You can even look at Facebook and Twitter as electronic, conversational examples. We all love to keep our friends updated with the details of our lives and interests. It is a way to make us feel recognized among our peers. The same applies to face-to-face conversations. In a conversation, when someone is dishing the details about how their day went or a personal interest they have, take note. Listen to what they have to say. A healthy conversation is a two-way street, with feedback flowing back and forth.

• A conversation is more than just dialog. To me, the human voice is magnificent. When you hear someone speak for the first time, you get a pretty good sense of the type of person they are. A conversation with another human is much more complicated than just talking. We lay our goals, dreams, aspirations and other details out on the line for the receiving party to hear. Having a conversation means someone is putting thoughts and feelings into the action of communicating to accomplish presenting a point or some other type of action. No matter the conversation, whether it be face-to-face, over-the-phone or via the internet, it is good to know there is always a human connection behind the words.

Had enough, grasshopper?

Ok, ok… Being the ever-so wise and kind conversational sensei I am, training is dismissed after you comment below!

What are some other conversational aspects you would add? How do you start a conversation with someone you don’t know?